The day the routers died

Why the fuck do we dumb and clueless Internet marketers care about Google’s Toolbar PageRank when the Internet faces real issues? Well, both the toolbar slider as well as IPv4 are somewhat finite.

I can hear the IM crowd singing “The day green pixels died” … whilst Matt’s gang in building 43 intones “No mercy, smack paid links, no place to hide for TLA links” … Enjoy this video, it’s friggin’ hilarious:

 

Since Gary Feldman’s song “The Day The Routers Died” will become an evergreen soon, I thought you might be interested in a transcript:

A long long time ago
I can still remember
When my laptop could connect elsewhere.

And I tell you all there was a day
The network card I threw away
Had a purpose and it worked for you and me.

But 18 years completely wasted
With each address we’ve aggregated
The tables overflowing
The traffic just stopped flowing.

And now we’re bearing all the scars
And all my traceroutes showing stars
The packets would travel faster in cars
The day the routers died.

So bye bye, folks at RIPE:55
Be persuaded to upgrade it or your network will die
IPv6 makes me let out a sigh
But I spose we’d better give it a try
I suppose we’d better give it a try!

Now did you write an RFC
That dictated how we all should be
Did we listen like we should that day?

Now were you back at RIPE fifty-four
Where we heard the same things months before
And the people knew they’d have to change their ways.

And we knew that all the ISPs
Could be future proof for centuries.

But that was then not now
Spent too much time playing WoW.

Ooh there was time we sat on IRC
Making jokes on how this day would be
Now there’s no more use for TCP
The day the routers died.

So bye bye, folks at RIPE:55
Be persuaded to upgrade it or your network will die
IPv6 just makes me let out a sigh
But I spose we’d better give it a try
I suppose we’d better give it a try!

I remember those old days I mourn
Sitting in my room, downloading porn
Yeah that’s how it used to be.

When the packets flowed from A to B
Via routers that could talk IP
There was data [that] could be exchanged between you and me.

Oh but I could see you all ignore
The fact we’d fill up IPv4!

But we all lost the nerve
And we got what we deserved!

And while we threw our network kit away
And wished we’d heard the things they say
Put all our lives in disarray
The day the routers died.

So bye bye, folks at RIPE:55
Be persuaded to upgrade it or your network will die
IPv6 just makes me let out a sigh
But I spose we’d better give it a try
I suppose we’d better give it a try!

Saw a man with whom I used to peer
Asked him to rescue my career
He just sighed and turned away.

I went down to the ‘net cafe
That I used to visit everyday
But the man there said I might as well just leave.

[And] now we’ve all lost our purpose
My cisco shares completely worthless
No future meetings for me
At the Hotel Krasnapolsky.

And the men that make us push and push
Like Geoff Huston and Randy Bush
Should’ve listened to what they told us
The day the routers died.

So bye bye, folks at RIPE:55
Be persuaded to upgrade it or your network will die
IPv6 just makes me let out a sigh
But I spose we’d better give it a try
[I suppose we’d better give it a try!]

Recorded at the RIPE:55 meeting in Amsterdam (NL) at the Krasnapolsky Hotel between 22 and 26 October 2007.

Just in case the video doesn’t load, here is another recording.



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6 Comments to "The day the routers died"

  1. Tim Nash on 30 October, 2007  #link

    I can’t stop laughing :) I’m glad I didn’t have any Cisco shares :D

  2. Shana Albert on 30 October, 2007  #link

    What a freakin great video!! Loved it, Sebastian… Great find.

  3. Advertising on 31 October, 2007  #link

    haha IPv6 it´s the future!

  4. Nice on 2 November, 2007  #link

    Haha, nice!

  5. Lucas on 5 November, 2007  #link

    I agree, this is hilarious.

  6. […] found this video on Sebastian’s Pamphlets and there you can also find a transcription of the text. If you don’t know what the h*ll Gary […]

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