Purchase yourself a link (bargain!)

Since my campaign links for t-shirts failed miserably, probably because I forgot to put up a shipping address, I thought of new ways to boost my shady tiny link monkey business.

The recent trend to SEO cannibalism (SEOs outing their former clients for inbound links which the SEO agency purchased, fabricated, stole, faked, or bartered on behalf of said ungrateful clients; as well as SEOs outing other SEOs with no purpose other than getting rightfully slammed for being assclowns) inspired me to start this auction:

Get yourself an inbound link!

This a.w.e.s.o.m.e. inbound link goes to the highest bidder:


Of course I can’t ship the whole link, just the value of the HREF attribute, and only the left part before the #. You can use this URI on every page you own. Search engines will love you for your relevant linkage, because this site provides value for every industry and each niche within.

Here’s the deal: You bid a fortune in the comments, and if I decide to sell you my awesome link, I’ll cut the bold part of

<a href="http://sebastians-pamphlets.com/#home”>TOP NOTCH INBOUND LINK</a>

out of my source code and email it to you in exchange for your bucks. You get a great URI to spread, and my link on this page will still work without all this protocol, server name and trailing slash stuff. That’s clearly a WIN-WIN situation, isn’t it?


If you’re not a professional Inbound Marketer, here’s a protip: in your bid admit that you’re a complete douchebag. I understand that spelling the meaningless term ‘Inbound Marketer’ is way too complicated, therefore I’ll accept ‘douchebag’ as a valid job title.

Not an inbound marketer?

Don’t panic. Of course I sell links to outbound marketers, too:



The deal is the same, with one exception: I still accept great t-shirts (XXXL) for outgoing links pointing to my pamphlets.

Terms and conditions

Don’t you think that not participating in my link auction saves you from underground marketing activities (formerly known as email spam) in your inbox or my graffiti on your SERPs (formerly known as webspam). If you don’t bid, I’ll unleash my cookies!

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6 Comments to "Purchase yourself a link (bargain!)"

  1. Google Web Spam on 24 May, 2012  #link

    We’ve received your report of paid-for links to this site: https://www.google.com/webmasters/tools/paidlinks?

    Thank you for reporting what appear to be paid-for links to this site: https://www.google.com/webmasters/tools/paidlinks?WTF

    - Website selling links: http://sebastians-pamphlets.com/top-notch-link-bargain/?$$=want

    - Website buying links: https://www.google.com/webmasters/tools/paidlinks?$$=has

    - Offensive link on page:
    The ‘bid’ link in ‘fineprints’ is not condomized, but clearly paid for with relevant search results.

    We work hard to return the most relevant results for every search we conduct, and we appreciate you taking the time to send us a report.

    Buying links violates our Webmaster Guidelines, and we believe that paid links harm the search experience for users everywhere. We’ll investigate your report, and we’ll use your data to improve our algorithmic detection of paid links.

    We appreciate your taking the time to help us improve our service for your fellow users around the world. By helping us improve the quality of our search results, you’re saving millions of people time, effort and energy.

  2. sean ruiz on 24 May, 2012  #link

    keep it together… keep it together…

  3. Sebastian on 25 May, 2012  #link

    Awesome. It could be a hiccup, but I think someone at Google has a great sense of humor.

    Yesterday this page was indexed: http://goo.gl/WLx4X

    Today it’s not. At least not from here. So what happened?

    I’ve submitted a paid-links report for this page accusing it of selling links to Google’s paid-links-report form (see first comment).

    It seems snitching works fine, and in near lightning speed :)

    Now that this page is apparently tanked, I’m wondering how to return the relevant search results to Google, because clearly I can’t fulfill my part of the deal any longer. A deindexed page shouldn’t pass link juice to the link target.

    A well deserved dilemma, eh?

  4. Sebastian on 25 May, 2012  #link

    Follow-up: a “fetch as Googlebot” plus “submit to search index” brought it back. I still like the idea that Google’s spam warriors ain’t humorless page killers.

  5. […] Purchase yourself a link (bargain!), sebastians-pamphlets.com […]

  6. sean on 4 April, 2013  #link

    meh - publicly selling links is against TOS…I’ll bid $.67 which is what I think this link is worth anyway with 1000000 obls in the sidebar and a PR4

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